Fine Distinctions - Ones (Tom Condon)

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Self Preservation Ones

• Talented at getting things done and attending to practical detail.
• Ultra-reliable; do what they say they will on time.
• Tend towards worry and negative anticipation about material well being. • Can catastrophize about money; could be “penny-wise and pound- foolish.”
• A petty, finicky quality; may magnify small tasks into large problems.
• Prone to a mild form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
• Distorted sense of responsibility; feel like they have to make the sun come up in the morning.
• Can seem like anxious Sixes but they lack a Six’s underlying core of helpless fear. Ones don’t doubt their capacity to take action.
• Could believe that everything has to be just right to avert disaster.
• May have a sense of being undeserving or inadequate; compensate with worry.
• If something goes wrong it will painfully confirm their lack of worth.

Intimate Ones

• Able to bring out the best in people. • Personable, with good social skills.

• Motivated by a desire to improve for a mate.
• Can feel like relationships are exercises in mutual improvement.
• More vain, especially with a Two wing; aware of how they look.
• Idealize their beloved and have high expectations in close relationships. • Grow up in atmospheres of criticism and high standards.
• Sensitive to the possibility of being rejected by intimates.
• If a beloved is even slightly critical the One hears the criticism as though through a megaphone.
• Distinct capacity for possessive jealousy.
• May have conflicts around sexuality; might feel inhibited and yet be attracted to wild sin.

Social Ones

• Genuinely self-sacrificing, can work tirelessly for the good of others and enjoy putting their ideals into action.
• Forgive the world for being flawed but still try to improve it.
• Believe they are representatives of a larger social order or tradition.

• Preoccupied with rules and how they apply to (other) people’s behavior. • Can apply the same rigid standards to each new situation; unconsciously ask themselves, “What is the rule?” rather than “What is necessary or sensible?”

• Can become preachy, won’t change their mind and won’t change the subject.
• Escape themselves by focusing on things that are essentially none of their business i.e. What others are doing wrong, issues of public morality. • Especially prone to black and white thinking; can cling to wrong-headed certainty to avoid the unknown.

• Can be hypocritical; “Do as I say not as I do.”
• May resist modernity, and fail “on principle” to adapt to new trends or realities.
• Consider being rigid, inflexible and closed a virtue, proof that they are living by an infallible moral or religious code.
• Can value structures, systems and rules; can be impersonal and dictatorial in positions of power.
• Most schools of religious and political fundamentalism are ruled by Social Oneness.

Connecting Points One with a Nine Wing

• Brings Ones a tolerant, receptive, mellow quality.
• Objective and balanced; moderate in their evaluations.
• Good at making difficult or unpopular decisions based solely on the facts.
• A cooler quality to the emotions; Ones with a Two wing burn hotter.
• A dryness of spirit, tending towards emotional constriction.
• Modest and unpretentious in their personal demeanor.
• Often appear a little colorless, prefer functional clothing that is possibly drab.
• Practicality is highly valued, nothing is ostentatious.
• Have an aura of Nine-like calm although eruptions of temper are possible.
• They tend to be slow burns, get angry gradually.
• Have a detached quality and can be mistaken for Fives.
• Austere, resistant to modernism. Think of the Luddites or Amish.
• Can take stubborn inflexible positions that are pointless or malformed. • May have perfectionistic expectations that are not humanly possible to meet.
• They can hold simplistic opinions that are superficially logical but ultimately heartless.

One with a Two Wing

• This wing brings more interpersonal warmth and awareness of emotions.
• Generally more passionate and intense.
• More interpersonal; temper their high standards with humanistic sympathy.

• Able to empathize with the motives underneath behavior rather than simply judging surfaces.
• Sacrifice time and energy for good works that help people.
• May elect themselves to play parental or big sister/big brother supervisory roles towards others.

• Can be bossy, self-righteous, severe and eruptive; could give scolding lectures or display a touchy emotionalism.
• Hot shots; can be haughty or even overtly arrogant; may overrate themselves

• Hypocrisy and moral vanity are more likely.
• Convinced their motives are pure their pride can override their principles.
• Overlook or rationalize the inevitable inconsistencies in their own behavior.
• Can have more trouble admitting mistakes due to Twoish pride. • “Do as I say, not as I do” attitudes are possible.
• Can also be dependent in relationships.

One’s Connection to Seven

• This connection brings Ones qualities like playfulness, flexibility and good cheer.
• Helps them loosen the rules, enjoy life and see what’s going right.
• They embrace paradox, and see multiple options and choices.

• Sensuality can emerge along with an improved sense of humor.
• May have more of a positive motivation strategy, motivating themselves through a system of rewards. Use carrots rather than the stick of judgment.
• Focus on the inherent opportunities in new situations; More likely to ask, “What do I want?” or “How can I make the most of this?”
• This connection also bring Ones an exploratory sense of adventure and a wide range of interests.
• May fight their Sevenish feelings, especially their “illicit” impulses; squelch them in the service of being good.
• See their own Sevenish qualities in others; indict the others for being libertine and irresponsible.
• Tendencies to addiction; can live secret lives or episodically escape, breaking completely free of the rules to have illicit adventures.
• Can be narcissistic, hypocritical and undependable.
• Slippery about facing the consequences of their actions.
• May start things they don’t finish.
• Might demand good behavior from others and blame them for failings the One shares.
• Can be more intellectual, theoretical and scatterbrained.

One’s Connection to Four

• Their Four streak gets them into their feelings and inner life.
• They discover how they really feel in contrast to how they “should” feel.

• The connection enhances a One’s creative, artistic imagination.
• They are attracted to art and nature, the aesthetic and the spiritual.
• Ones are prone to melancholy, it is a portal feeling; they pass through it on their way to other feelings.
• Dissatisfied with reality; could feel sadly alone in a world that doesn’t appreciate their efforts to reform it, surrounded by incompetents.
• May compare the present with a romanticized version of the past.
• Can be self-pitying like an unhealthy Four, bemoaning their lot in life and implicitly asking others to support or rescue them.
• Could yearn to live in a finer, more ideal world, a quality of wistful nostalgia.
• Have sentimental streaks and can occasionally be maudlin.
• Can idealize their parents and romanticize their early family life in a way that blinds them to the family’s darker undertones undertones and less healthy patterns.
• Can over-react emotionally; may tend towards morose depression.
• Self-critical and depressive; they can harbor an inner sense of defect; turn their high standards against themselves.
• They may remorsefully vow to suppress their flaws, which then sets up the next episode of “bad” behavior.
• A few are morbidly interested in death and disease.
• A self-indulgent Fourish sense of being exempt from normal consequence.
• May project and then indicting their own sensitivities in others.
• Can become anti-subjective and anti-intuitive to defensively protect the primacy of reason.